Monthly Archives: July 2011

I Could Use a Little Brain Freeze

 

Image courtesy of Dennis Jernberg

“Temperatures and humidity soar!!  In July!!”  Apparently, this is big news.  Summer has brought heat.  Go figure.  And the summertime heat is newsworthy even though most of us won’t leave our air-conditioned homes, cars, or workplaces for more than the few moments it takes to get from one door to the other. 

Nevertheless, even the Uncommonhousewife has suffered some of the effects of this epic heat wave:

  • The heat has fried my brain.  Just sucked all of the creativity right out of it.  Hence the absence of posts here.  In fact, the first anniversary of the Uncommonhousewife Blog came and went without fanfare largely because I was too lethargic to muster up an enthusiastic celebratory post.  We will just observe the event later.
  • Potential colleges can be ruled out simply by looking at the thermometer.  It doesn’t matter if the school is drop-dead gorgeous, perfect in every way.  The fact that the “Feels Like” temperature was 112 degrees while we were there cancels out everything else.  By the way, the inverse of this theorem is equally true: Temperatures below 35 degrees result in elimination from the list.  Oh.  And there’s a corollary for precipitation during the campus visit, too.
  • Higher temperatures result in larger traffic jams.  I have not yet puzzled out the reason for this, but I have anecdotal evidence that it is true.  And what compares to standing still on I-95 for no apparent reason while the car thermometer climbs over 106?  Wanna arrive at your destination with a smile on your face?  Sorry.  Maybe next week, when the pavement stops melting.
  • The hotter it gets, the less “housewifery” the Uncommonhousewife does.  It’s a sad fact around here that I become far less motivated to cook, clean, or do laundry when the heat is oppressive.  That’s why my flower beds are looking less cultivated and more “au naturel” these days.  Weeding in this heat?  No thanks.  And times like these are exactly why everyone in the household has at least 2 weeks worth of underwear.  Dryers are, after all, nothing but large heat generators by nature.

So the point of all this is just a big “Don’t get your hopes up.”  Creative genius, dust-free living room, fresh-and-clean sheets every week: maybe later.  Maybe after I have a great big soft-serve vanilla ice cream cone and get a brain freeze.  Shut up.  It’s for the good of the family.

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Independence Day Wrap-Up

Boy, the posts are getting few and far-between around here!  The sad truth is, we’re still finishing up school work.  Yes, we’re homeschool slackers.  (That’s sarcasm, people.)  These online courses that require several essays a week instead of the multiple choice, year-round-preparation-for-state-standards-of-learning-tests assignments that dominate public school curricula can really kick your butt if you don’t stay on top of them.  Anyway.  Couple that with our imminent college visit whirlwind tour, and I will be checking in here only sporadically over the next couple of weeks.

image by Shashibellamkonda

Today, I emerged from the “July 4th” holiday weekend wondering how it got to be July already.  A few observations:

The holiday is Independence Day, folks!  Every time I hear someone say, “Happy 4th of July!” it grates on my last nerve.  No one wishes me a “Merry December 25th” or a “Happy January 1st.”  I know “independence” is a big word, but it’s not that hard to pronounce.  If you sound it out, it’s not even that hard to spell, until you get to the end, I guess.  It’s no wonder the average American has no idea what the Declaration of Independence says or for that matter why, how, or when the Revolutionary War was fought.  Apparently, all we are celebrating is a summer day on the calendar.

Animals hate this holiday.  As soon as darkness fell over the past 4 evenings, the Uncommon Greyhound started his pacing, panting, and shaking routine.  Between the thunderstorms that popped up, as they will this time of year, and the neighborhood fireworks displays, he spent the weekend as a large quivering mass of dog.

Which brings me to this: when you read an announcement in the newspaper stating that fireworks are prohibited in your locality, that means they are illegal.  Maybe this is another problem with big words.  Maybe that’s why so many people ignore the ban and launch their own display of fireworks.  I’m not a fireworks Grinch.  I enjoy them.  But I also have a respect for the law.  And I know what kind of idiots are out there looking for fun with no regard for drought conditions, other people’s property, or the fact that some people have to get up early for work the next morning.  And if you are going to be a scofflaw over this, who’s to say you won’t decide to ignore a stop sign or a law against theft or something more serious.  Slippery slope.

Independence Day brings out some interesting fashion choices.  I was watching the PBS broadcast of “A Capitol Fourth,” which I enjoy every year, and I saw everything from the common Old Navy  holiday T-shirts to red, white, and blue wigs.  Some of VIPs had holiday-appropriate neckties and fancy hats.  What I want to know is why Josh Groban couldn’t find anything better to wear than jeans for his performance in the show.  Come on.  This is the West Lawn of the US Capitol.  The women perform in evening gowns and cocktail dresses, but he can’t manage a suit or at least some dress slacks??  Terribly disappointing.

So now, we are hitting the books (the end of them) and hitting the road. The uncommon summer is just getting underway.

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