I Could Use a Little Brain Freeze

 

Image courtesy of Dennis Jernberg

“Temperatures and humidity soar!!  In July!!”  Apparently, this is big news.  Summer has brought heat.  Go figure.  And the summertime heat is newsworthy even though most of us won’t leave our air-conditioned homes, cars, or workplaces for more than the few moments it takes to get from one door to the other. 

Nevertheless, even the Uncommonhousewife has suffered some of the effects of this epic heat wave:

  • The heat has fried my brain.  Just sucked all of the creativity right out of it.  Hence the absence of posts here.  In fact, the first anniversary of the Uncommonhousewife Blog came and went without fanfare largely because I was too lethargic to muster up an enthusiastic celebratory post.  We will just observe the event later.
  • Potential colleges can be ruled out simply by looking at the thermometer.  It doesn’t matter if the school is drop-dead gorgeous, perfect in every way.  The fact that the “Feels Like” temperature was 112 degrees while we were there cancels out everything else.  By the way, the inverse of this theorem is equally true: Temperatures below 35 degrees result in elimination from the list.  Oh.  And there’s a corollary for precipitation during the campus visit, too.
  • Higher temperatures result in larger traffic jams.  I have not yet puzzled out the reason for this, but I have anecdotal evidence that it is true.  And what compares to standing still on I-95 for no apparent reason while the car thermometer climbs over 106?  Wanna arrive at your destination with a smile on your face?  Sorry.  Maybe next week, when the pavement stops melting.
  • The hotter it gets, the less “housewifery” the Uncommonhousewife does.  It’s a sad fact around here that I become far less motivated to cook, clean, or do laundry when the heat is oppressive.  That’s why my flower beds are looking less cultivated and more “au naturel” these days.  Weeding in this heat?  No thanks.  And times like these are exactly why everyone in the household has at least 2 weeks worth of underwear.  Dryers are, after all, nothing but large heat generators by nature.

So the point of all this is just a big “Don’t get your hopes up.”  Creative genius, dust-free living room, fresh-and-clean sheets every week: maybe later.  Maybe after I have a great big soft-serve vanilla ice cream cone and get a brain freeze.  Shut up.  It’s for the good of the family.

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